Joyful Ruins

The Lord is deeply grieved when His blessings become idols in our hearts.

Think about that, is that true of you? I’d imagine it is of all of us.

I know one big blessing I have made an idol in my heart: popularity. It’s odd to even write that word because I’ve never cared about being a part of the “cool” crowd…seriously, ask anyone I went to high school with. But, I have discovered how I have allowed people to become so much bigger than the Lord in my heart.

Yes, I feel deeply that I can only rely on the Lord, that I have no other lover but Him, and yet, my flesh has won out for so long that this idol is not easily gotten rid of.

I spend so much time worrying over words I’ve said to someone, wondering if my friends even like me. I’ve realized recently that I haven’t truly been comfortable in a friendship for a long time because I read into everything. If they don’t text me, don’t initiate hanging out, don’t smile at a joke, etc., I begin to worry that I am an idiot and maybe that friendship is weaker than I thought.

Really, I’ve made people my idols. And the Lord blesses us with out friendships and relationships. We do not get them on our own. He is in control. He gives and takes away as well. I know He is the only one I need to please, but my flesh argues against that.

So, here I am and I am causing the Lord grief. Thank the Lord for His grace and love.