Joyful Ruins

Dear Younger me,

Where have all the good men gone?

I’ve felt that way often. Chivalry is dead, right? No one is a gentleman anymore.

Oh, how wrong that is! Not only are there still good men, but you actually have the power to make a man good.

I am not suggesting that you manipulate a man or that you have some sort of control. And God is the only one who can make anyone truly good.

What I mean is, you can, with who you are, encourage a man towards goodness.

Be patient with the boys or men in your life. Just like you, they need time for God to shape them, to become better, kinder, maybe even more chivalrous. Don’t give up on them. Don’t rush it either. If you’re impatient and jump right into the water, you will, of course, wonder where have all the good men gone? You must wait for him to form, just as you continue to become a good woman.

Don’t forget your own conduct and attitude. Instead of immediately assuming or judging a man, encourage him towards goodness, just as you would any of your girlfriends.

Over time, I’ve seen many of my male friends who, at one point in time, may have seemed like they were not a part of the good men category, transform into those heroes we all look for.

Good things do come to those who wait, my dear.