Joyful Ruins

Wow! I sit this morning feeling anxious and unworthy, seeking comfort and truth from the Lord.

Tomorrow I am speaking for a short time at my church’s college and young adult group and I can’t help but worry about what to say, how it will be received, and ultimately how I will feel through it all. You see, I have taught a lesson to 200 plus kids while holding a snake and I have spoken to crowds of strangers about a myriad of subjects, including Jesus. Yet, fear strikes in my heart over speaking at church to my peers. I suppose there is a longer story to tell as to why I feel that way, but it is not how God wants me to feel and it is not the truth.

Naturally, I thought about The Bible this morning, searching my mind for someone who loved God, who also felt unworthy to speak to people and represent God’s words. It didn’t take long for Moses to pop into my mind. So I turned to Exodus 3 excitedly.

You see, Moses, at this point,is an exile, a murderer, shepherd, and he is certainly not thinking God is about to change his life and the lives of others forever!

God speaks to Moses and tells him to go to the Pharoah and bring His people out of Egypt.

“Who am I that I should do this?” Moses questions. I am unequipped. I am an exile, a shepherd. I talk to a flock of animals, not to a court of Egyptian royalty.

I love the simple truths God replies with, truths that pierce my heart, make me laugh in joy, and refresh my soul. Truths that we ALL need to remember in times when we feel less than qualified for God’s calling.

God tells Moses, “I will be with you.” Don’t things become less scary when we have a companion? The darkness is less intimidating, traveling becomes safer and more fun, sorrows less intense. We seek out companionship because it helps us face difficulties. Well, God is always with us, so in all those difficulties, we are constantly in companionship with Christ, facing our fears with Him, not a lone.

God, also says to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM.” This is not about me or you. It doesn’t matter if I am a shepherd, an exile, or if I am a leader or a servant, it’s not about who I am, it’s about who God is. You are sent, called, directed by God and His identity and purpose is truly the only thing that matters. It never changes even if you feel like your own purpose and identity changes.

Lastly, my favorite response from God this morning. My heart, above all, wants to make it obvious to everyone that what I say comes from God, that who I am is all about Him. I am almost anxious about ensuring that this is communicated. And guess what, God addresses just that in verse 12.

“This will be the sign to you that it is I who have sent you: when you have brought the people out of Egypt, you will worship God on this mountain.”

How will you know that this is from God? You won’t know based on the reactions of others. As we see, God says to Moses specifically, that he will know when he worships God, not when the people worship, or when Pharaoh worships. It has little to do with those Moses is afraid to speak to and has everything to do with his own response and intimate relationship with God.

This reminds me that whether I speak eloquently or not, if my heart and my soul are centered on worshipping the King, I can stand firmly on His purpose and calling to place me there and know that He is pleased.