Joyful Ruins

It is truly odd what our first thoughts are when we wake up in the morning. Luckily, the majority of the time, my thoughts are on Jesus (this has only come with practice and by God’s grace). However, this morning, I woke up and my thoughts were on the film Never Been Kissed, and specifically, on how old the character is in the film.

If you have never seen this Drew Barrymore movie, it is about a 25 year old journalist, who has never been kissed, going undercover as a high school student. It’s a quirky charming rom com, but today, I realized, I am older than 25, and I have never been kissed. Perhaps I should be embarrassed to write this and share it with the world, but as I have gotten older, my embarrassment has decreased and I prefer honesty to masked comments and posts.

I have always wanted to be married, to share my life with a partner, a best friend, yet here I am, without. But it doesn’t ache as much as it once did. After all, what is this life truly about? Who is the one who controls these things? The answer to both, being one and the same: Christ.

I could certainly spend my time attaching my full identity to this: 26, unmarried, unpursued by most men, unattached, unkissed (is that even a word?). But that is certainly not where my identity lies. It does not rely on my relationship status, nor does it truly even rely on how I feel about myself, for God is greater than our feelings (1 John 3:20).

Whether you have been a bride or not, or will be a bride or not on this earth, you are Christ’s bride. Whether you have been chosen by others or overlooked, Christ chose you as His special possession. Whether you feel and are alone or not, Christ died for you so He could always be near you. Whether you are praised or abused, you are sung over and loved by Jesus. He will never reject you. He makes you the apple of his eyes. He is equally and simultaneously your husband, beloved, Savior, best friend, coworker, teacher, and King.

Times may come when the fact that I am 26 and have never been kissed will cause me heart ache. I can easily wonder why I have been disregarded by so many people in this world, why my heart hasn’t been seen, but ignored and rejected. However, I would much rather focus and give into the One whose love for me never fails and whom I will spend eternity with.

So, really, I am 26 years old and my heart belongs wholeheartedly to the One whom my soul loves. I lack nothing good.