Joyful Ruins

Gratitude.  The Bible tells us to give thanks in ALL circumstances. Often people have said, praise will heal many wounds, dispel fears, and ease worry. Yet, no matter how many times I have heard or read this, my journey to experience it has taken a long time.

Before I write anything else, I want to say, I believe praise and thankfulness directed to Christ is powerful, whether you feel it or not, meaning, even before I experienced what I did below, I believe it was a powerful spiritual discipline. It’s power does not depend on my emotions.

Now, most of my gratitude has been intertwined with fear and anxiety. While I praise God, I am typically painfully wrestling with a host of doubts and lies. I believe it is this wrestling which sharpens our faith for the next trial we will face. It is the wrestling that strengthens our faith muscles so we can more readily and quickly use them for the future.

This past year, I have tried to believe and praise God in the midst of all my fears, doubts, and disappointments. Gratitude is not an easy practice, but I practiced it none the less, even if it brought me to tears or to my knees. You see, the more I practiced, the more I pushed through, wrestled, and honestly, battled, the more I experienced the walls coming down, strongholds demolished, and peace entering in. By the Holy Spirit, my mind and heart began to change because I chose to not give up.

I will NEVER be perfect in gratitude this side of heaven, but I have tasted its fruit and it is unbelievably satisfying.

On a recent road trip, I felt anxious over my car. I have had my fair share of car troubles and it has left an imprint on my heart and mind that expects the worst to happen. Every sound and bump can leave me feeling frazzled and fearful. On this recent trip, I began to feel that familiar anxiety, and began to hear those thoughts of fear. Yet, something new happened.

Usually, I would say a prayer and chastise myself for being fearful, which typically did little to dispel the fear. This time, however, I found my heart and mind thanking God for who He is. My mind responded to my fearful thoughts with, “Thank You for taking care of and watching over me Lord. Thank you for always being with me, even if something should happen.” Perhaps I had said the same thing in the past, but I believed it wholeheartedly this time. With my wrestling and through time with God, my mind and heart had learned to believe in His incredibly good and faithful character.

The instant I spoke gratitude into my fear; warmth, peace, and a sense of deep love covered me and and calmed me. It wasn’t over, I had to speak it again and again on the drive, but the peace, love, and warmth kept coming and I made it through.

I implore you to not give up on gratitude and praise of God. Push through what may feel painful to do at times. Your heart and mind will catch up. Gratitude is a journey and along the way is more of Jesus. So, believe me when I say, it gets better as you keep going. Don’t give up!