“How do you pick up the threads of an old life? How do you go on, when in your heart you begin to understand…there is no going back? There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts that go too deep, that have taken hold.”
Though I recognize this quote may discourage some, I find myself drawn to it in my current season.
Firstly, I DO believe all hurts can find some form of healing, but I do not believe these words of Tolkien’s are saying there is no healing.
To me, these words, spoken by Frodo from Lord of the Rings, are expressing an absolute truth for those suffering, those who have lost someone or something.
Grief is broad. Oftentimes we understand grief in the context of death, the loss of a loved one. And, this is, perhaps, the deepest grief we can experience on earth. However, grief comes with other losses too: loss of work, friendship, identity, health. When our life shifts because of a loss, grief inevitably knocks at our door.
And many times, grief does not leave us, nor would we want it to. The loss we experienced is forever imprinted on us. We are not the same as we once were. The hurt “has taken hold”, left a scar.
I will not say that is good or bad, it is just true.
At some point in our grieving journey, we will come to realize “there is not going back”. That, itself, is where much of our grief comes from; in realizing life will never be the same, we will never be the same.
I believe this realization is healing in itself. It is a step forwrad in letting go.
Yes, our life will never be the same, we will never be the same and that is ok.
You’ve been changed, touched. It’s only natural that you will grieve that and only natural that you are a different person because of what you have experienced.
Give yourself grace and space to feel these things, to through the process, and sit with the truth that you are forever changed and that is ok.
Joyful Ruins 
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