Honest Confessions of the Only Virgin at the Table

May 7, 2023

Honest Confessions of the Only Virgin at the Table

The only virgin at this table

and usually that feels fine

not in an arrogant way

but in a

I know myself kind of way

But tonight

it feels bad

Why?

I’m not sure

perhaps it’s just my mood

or the company

or the setting

But I feel

like a loser

less like a woman

for sitting with others

who have been there

A place I’ve chosen not to go

But it doesn’t feel like a choice tonight

it feels like I couldn’t

like I wasn’t pretty enough…

Maybe I wasn’t

but all of that usually makes no sense

because I chose this

for more than just logical reasons

I chose it out of love

and truth

and I don’t regret it

but tonight

something makes me feel

incomplete

out of the club somehow

poetry

Posted by:

Jessica P. Mills

I see the world through stories and insights. I have always been a sensitive soul, especially towards nature, people, art, and faith. I spend a lot of time reflecting and finding treasures wherever I can. The two values I live by are beauty and celebration. I hope my blog communicates those two things, seeing beauty where beauty is not often seen and celebrating every aspect of life, the hard and the easy.

2 responses to “Honest Confessions of the Only Virgin at the Table”

Sarah Martyn – Author

May 7, 2023 at 7:30 pm

I know this resonates with a lot of women. Women who feel stuck between this unhealthy idea that sex defines womanhood but you can’t have it. They want to be “good” but also get told sex isn’t good… or good to do anyway. And it fuels what you shared about outward beauty, yet a choice not feeling like a choice can sting. I’m sure it’s lonely at times when you’re the only one in certain settings.

Reply
1. Jessica P. Mills
  
  May 10, 2023 at 10:34 pm
  
  Yes, rarely comes up, but if you are with a diverse group and certain people who like to discuss those things.. it’s tough. I felt the same when I was 27 and hadn’t been kissed.
  
  Reply

About Me

An obsessive journaler who loves meeting others along their journey and giving them a hand to hold through pieces of writing. I write about the heartbreaks of life and the joys, the ups and downs, and I often learn my greatest lessons and miracles from nature.

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