Joyful Ruins

Their stories are accepted and embraced

I am a disgrace

I turned my back on ministry

I question things I have been taught

I am dissatisfied

with the imperfect life

because I was told

perfection looked like

marriage to a “Christian” man

children to take care of

or a total sacrafice

of my single life

Here I am

unmarried

rarely met a “man of God”

who treated me with love

Childless but with a love for children

and no longer

willing

to totally sacrafice

I guess my story

is no longer holy

to so many

and that hurts to know

Makes me feel

like I am

on the outside

not looking in

orphaned and abandoned

not embraced

I feel this right now

I am not who I was

nor am I who the church

expects me to be

Many consider me

off the path

but I could never

go back

I’m just struggling

to go forward