Joyful Ruins

Before I came here

I was fragile

and I don’t think that is bad

My fragility came from acknowledging pain

I had ignored for years

I entered this new chapter

with courage and apprehension

SO afraid it wouldn’t meet my expectations

and it didn’t

lonely

stressed

pushed out of my comfort zone

again and again

I was disappointed and sad

bewildered even

Fragile again

Then something happened

the icy waters and lonely spaces

the tough situations

lead me to rediscover

my resilience

A deep well of love, strength, and wisdom

A knowing that I can do this

An accepting of life’s limitations

An appreciation for all the small miracles

My fragile self still within me

but now believing we won’t break

and if we do

we know how to gather the pieces and rebuild