Joyful Ruins

I look at my body and frown

Too fat

Too many spots

Too achy

And I realize

I am speaking to her

the words

I’ve always feared to hear

Too much

or Too little

Why do I treat her with such little grace?

It’s not her fault that she responds to our world

to food and sugar

stress and medicine

dirt and sweat

She is so vulnerable

and yet my protector

Like a mother caring for her child

Do I throw hate onto the one who cares for me?

Especially when my words will pierce her soft skin?

This body holds me,

all of me

Not one inch of skin

should be unloved

or blamed

She is doing her best

My skin

protecting

my blood and bones

taking the full brunt

of all the hits

and I turn to her and criticize her aesthetic

My stomach digesting

feeding me

giving me life

and I turn to her

and call her fat

even as that fat

changes every day?

She does not deserve this

My body

She carries me

and I love her

for protecting and supporting me

Like I do to the earth

Not blaming her for all her pains and scars

I will not blame my body

but grieve

and tenderly kiss her

Seeing her absolute beauty

Seeing the miracle she is