Joyful Ruins

For a woman

her body is

ever changing

Whether she bears children

or not

She cannot escape

the chemistry inside her

For so long

I’ve been taught

the way my body looks

is important to others

It will win me love

or rejection

So the changes that come to my body

became intertwined

with my worth

I rejoiced in

consistency

of a flatter stomach

and a curvy form

But as I have aged

I have lost control

or the illusion I had of it

All I try

can’t stop

the changes

I have woken up

and not recognized

this body I am in

And I know it is because

the world taught me to reject

anything below the standard beauty

Rather than

lovingly accepting

the changes that have come to my body naturally

I have spent my time

fixing

shaping

worrying

hating

and rejecting

She does not deserve this

I want

from now on

to feel honored

that my role is

to love this ever changing body

not projecting

these standards taught to me

but leaning in

with compassion and love

towards every part