Joyful Ruins

I used to feel you close

almost as if

you lived within me

and spoke innately

but then you became

so foreign

all the things I once knew

questioned

and I hardly chose this path

though some condemn me

as though I did

Instead

I was thrust into it

and then

choosing not to question

made no sense

So now

I hear you

but i don’t know you

until today

when I felt Compassion

powerfully within

a force of light

a healing presence

Is this you?

beginning to emerge again?

Once hidden under denial

and black and white thinking?

Once conquered by shame

disgust

perfectionism

performance?

Is God actually just compassion inside me?

Because if it is

then Compassion is a reality of God

I can learn to trust again