A Bad Case of Unbelief

August 14, 2020

A Bad Case of Unbelief

In the midst of a pandemic, a slight cough can send some of us panicking.

Sadly, I have found myself in that boat, not with much fear for myself, but fear for the health of others. Maybe that sounds heroic and honorable to you, but in the end, my fear for others or for myself, came down to a bad case of unbelief.

Before I go on, let me clarify something. I am in no way supporting those who have decided wearing a mask is foolhardy, physical distancing is made up, and covid is a conspiracy. God both empowers us to believe He can while also commanding us to care about others more than ourself.

Whether or not this virus is blown out of proportion, makes no difference to me. If my wearing a mask or physically distancing might save even one person’s life, Jesus calls me to it.

Now, back to the point of this post. What do I mean by my having a bad case of unbelief?

I have grown in my faith and belief this year more than ever. However, I know I should never consider myself to have won the prize yet, I must keep on running the race, understand I am a sinner, and fix my eyes on Jesus.

So, when I was planning to visit my parents in Colorado and found myself feeling sick a week before, unbelief set in.

What if I have covid? What if I don’t get to go? What if I get my parents or others sick?

What ifs can be fine, but my what ifs were not faith filled. I certainly had taken all precautions necessary to prevent covid, but I continued to believe the worst. I had quarantined myself, I was taking medicine, checking my fever often, I had gotten tested for covid, and I prayed for God to guide the situation, whichever way it may go.

What I did not do was silence my fears and anxieties with the what ifs of faith.

To really convict me, I wrote this particular post down in my journal while sitting in the airport, covid free, fever free for days, and reading my morning devotional. I read this from A. W. Tozer:

“The question that desperately needs to be answered is, how does faith differ from unbelief?

The difference is simply that faith says, ‘If some other time, then why not now?’…’why not here?’…’why not me?’

Faith takes ‘I’ out of the equation and brings God back to the center. If God said it, then it must be true, and if it’s true, then it’s true now, and if it’s true for someone else, it’s also true for me.”

You see, my what ifs started and ended in unbelief. Yet faith would have transformed those what ifs into, “What if I do not have covid?”, “What if I go to Colorado?”, “What if no one gets sick?”, not because I am more blessed or I deserve health or bad things never happen to me, but because God can and He never changes.

Fortunately, there is a cure, a prayer, I can say in response to a bad case of unbelief, and that is “Help me in my unbelief” (Mark 9:24).

Uncategorized

covid, faith, God, Mark, pandemic, sickness, Tozer, unbelief, whatifs

Posted by:

Jessica P. Mills

I see the world through stories and insights. I have always been a sensitive soul, especially towards nature, people, art, and faith. I spend a lot of time reflecting and finding treasures wherever I can. The two values I live by are beauty and celebration. I hope my blog communicates those two things, seeing beauty where beauty is not often seen and celebrating every aspect of life, the hard and the easy.

6 responses to “A Bad Case of Unbelief”

alphaandomega21

September 20, 2023 at 1:19 pm

Hello from the UK

Many thanks for your post. I do not know how you think after 3 years now re the COVID situation. However, re “…wearing a mask is foolhardy, physical distancing is made up, and covid is a conspiracy.” I would like to say the following:

Masks are sensible for certain situations like dust, sandstorms and diesel fumes. But not for COVID 19 which is the ‘flu weaponised to make people afraid and take poisonous vaccines.

Physical distancing was made up and varied between countries. It was never necessary but like the masks a form of control.

I have written a great deal about the issues trying to warn people as to the grave dangers the children of God face. The heavenly Father cries out in the heavens ‘Wake up my darlings, wake up!’

Here are links of mine should you be interested.

Faith Masks

What is the ‘flu a.k.a Covid 19 and why vaccines are pointless at best.

Kind regards from my wife and I

Reply
1. Jessica P. Mills
  
  September 20, 2023 at 3:03 pm
  
  Hi! I respect your comment and your views. I have heard opinions as your own many times over the years. I still disagree with this view of the pandemic, masks, and vaccines. For myself, loving others is being willing to practice care and safety towards others. A mask does not cause me any harm. If you feel the vaccine causes you harm for legitimate reasons (like you have an autoimmune disease) then that is very understandable. To imagine that there are things behind the masks or vaccines, as in total government control, is your choice. I have no inkling of believing such things and I would gladly wear masks again if people were getting sick and dying. I’d gladly wear a mask again if I met up with someone who was uncomfortable and easily got sick.
  
  Maybe the masks were not the best protection against sickness (though many countries around the world have been wearing masks during flu season for years, without the government telling them to), but this was the way the government and health officials felt would ease the suffering happening due to an unknown sickness.
  
  Again, I appreciate your perspective, one I have heard and read before. It just doesn’t change my perspective.
  
  Respectfully,
  Jessica
  
  Reply
  1. alphaandomega21
    
    September 20, 2023 at 5:37 pm
    
    Thank you for your reply Jessica. However this is not about the vaccine causing harm to me but the fact that vaccines contain poisons/foreign bodies. They must do to create an immune response.
    
    But that is all they do. They are a satanic deceit. I used to think they were of some use but not for the ‘flu. I researched properly in 2020 and realised that none of them were of use.
    
    I can only warn you, if you take a vaccine you are playing Russian roulette with your body. Poisoning yourself in the idea that this will somehow help you is sheer folly.
    
    You are being hoodwinked if you trust the government. You will have to decide whether you trust man or God. You are currently trusting man and if you really were listening to God you would realise what I have told you is true.
    
    Kind regards
  2. Jessica P. Mills
    
    September 29, 2023 at 12:10 am
    
    Thank you for the concern.
2. Jessica P. Mills
  
  September 20, 2023 at 3:05 pm
  
  Also, this post was very little to do with covid and my beliefs around it. This was a post about faith unrelated to covid.
  
  Reply
  1. alphaandomega21
    
    September 20, 2023 at 5:55 pm
    
    Come now Jessica, you have referred to the pandemic and covid. You said and I quote “What if I have covid? What if I don’t get to go? What if I get my parents or others sick?”
    
    Wearing a mask or physically distancing will not save anyone from the ‘flu or covid as it is now known and Jesus would not have you do it. He did not do these things when He healed people.
    
    This is very much about faith and covid. If you were listening to God you would hear Him say the ‘flu, a.k.a. Covid, has been weaponsied to make more money for big pharma etc., but if you have the ‘flu then you must detoxify your body to get well.
    
    You can get poisoned in various ways from processed foods etc. Our air, food and water are very poisoned in many places and Satan is out to poison and harm the children of God.
    
    The whole Covid 19 nonsense is a test to see what or whom people’s faith is in. So do not be deceived and do not be afraid as perfect love casts out fear and God is love.
    
    Kind regards

About Me

An obsessive journaler who loves meeting others along their journey and giving them a hand to hold through pieces of writing. I write about the heartbreaks of life and the joys, the ups and downs, and I often learn my greatest lessons and miracles from nature.

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