Joyful Ruins

Discovering joy in the hard places

God in Me?

I still think of You when a door opens

I wonder if You’re leading, aligning, working

But when I pigeon hole You into giving me a specific path

it’s easier to be disappointed or mad when that path doesn’t work

I make You my scapegoat

I blame You

I throw away intuition, love, compassion, and responsibility

and I place the blame in Your hands

Might you be offering and working in many ways

not just one?

Working through many open doors

many kind words

Working through my thoughts

my heart

my wants, desires, gut

Working in my transformation

through voices outside the church

as well as inside

Through nature

and laughter

movies and books

All the good that calls to me

What if You are already there

not for me to seek like a starving person

unable to find the food I need

but to know

You are in my thoughts, wants, heart

not in a You control me way

but in the moment I was born

You put part of You in me

and I can trust my human and godly experience

That my life is holy

I don’t earn it

it was given to me at birth

Whether I believe in You or not

You work for my good

, , , , , , ,
Jessica P. Mills's avatar

Posted by:

Jessica P. Mills

I see the world through stories and insights. I have always been a sensitive soul, especially towards nature, people, art, and faith. I spend a lot of time reflecting and finding treasures wherever I can. The two values I live by are beauty and celebration. I hope my blog communicates those two things, seeing beauty where beauty is not often seen and celebrating every aspect of life, the hard and the easy.

2 responses to “God in Me?”

  1. Sarah Martyn - Author Avatar
    Sarah Martyn – Author

    Such an eloquent way of condensing how God works – pursuing when we don’t acknowledge Him and when we do, working when we don’t realize and when we do, in experiences within and without church bodies and buildings.

    Reply
    1. Jessica P. Mills Avatar
      Jessica P. Mills

      yes!

      Reply

Leave a comment

About Me

An obsessive journaler who loves meeting others along their journey and giving them a hand to hold through pieces of writing. I write about the heartbreaks of life and the joys, the ups and downs, and I often learn my greatest lessons and miracles from nature.

Recent Posts

Newsletter