Joyful Ruins

Have you believed yourself to have the gift of faith? Have you, then, come to a season where that faith has faltered, maybe even seemingly failed?

I have. I will say that I do not understand faith to the fullest extent and so when I say my faith has failed, I know it truly hasn’t.

Yet, I cannot believe how weak I am. Why? Because most of my 20’s have been defined by a deepening relationship and faith in Christ.

And what did the deepening? Good times? Easy seasons?

No. Trials, struggles, and then the mountaintops produced greater praise and closeness.

However, I now find myself in a valley that is testing my faith more than any other. I’ve doubted, wrestled, cried, more than any other time in my life.

And I honestly feel ashamed at my response. I feel I should be stronger, more faithful.

I’m being honest with you in case you are experiencing something similar. Not the same trial, but perhaps the same feelings of weakness and even shame.

Well, let me ask you a question.

If you had never lifted wights before, would you go to the gym expecting yourself to life 200 pounds the first day? And would you be embarrassed by your inability to do so?

Maybe you would. I know some of us have too high expectations of ourselves.

Here’s another question. If you knew no Spanish, and decided to start learning today, would you expect to have a conversation with a fluent Spanish speaker the same day you started learning it?

The true expectation would be no. It takes time to strengthen unused muscles. It takes time to learn a language and practice it.

It takes time to build faith in a new area. If you are struggling to believe, if you are weak. It’s probably because you haven’t used the faith muscles required for this struggle ever before.

For me, I never had to use faith muscles for illness, or my body. I can choose to be ashamed of myself for not immediately having strength in these muscles or I can choose to give myself grace to learn and build them up. I have the best teacher after all. And He wants to teach me about these muscles this season.

I may not like it and it may be painful sometimes, but it will get better, the muscles will get stronger, and it will teach me something new and valuable.

All that to say, do not be ashamed of the faith growing process. You will start out weak, but God will strengthen and teach you. It will take time, so give yourself grace for the journey.